COVID-19: A Perspective
To me, perhaps the oddest thing is that for once, the whole world agrees on something. Whether I speak to my friends down the street in Memphis, in New York or California, in England or Togo or Singapore, we are all afraid of the same thing.
It started with an outbreak, "In Wuhan, China" the news said. I wrote it down for my French news notes and wondered what Wuhan was. Some people in China were sick. Then four people in France had this virus and I wondered if it was close to where my friends live. Then there was a case in New York or California or Washington or something. We all went "Hm."
I stopped watching the news when I went on spring break. Five days later I got an email saying I would be required to move out of my dorm because nobody was going back to school. We were doing all of our classes online and it was suggested that everyone start social distancing. This phrase was introduced into my vocabulary only weeks ago and now it defines my every decision I make in life.
Since then, it is like the only event I see happening is the blooming of the daffodils in my yard. All I hear is the whistling of the wind or the rain. My whole world had become my house. My classroom, dining hall, library, gym, internship workplace, restaurants, cafe, counselor's office, movie theatre, my parent's places of work and my sister's college in Maryland... It's all under one roof. We don't leave except to get groceries or occasionally take the dogs for a walk. I haven't seen a soul apart from my family for weeks. Days pass where I hardly step into the sun.
Here is what I think about this.
1. This is difficult for us because it is unprecedented. All of those people saying 'well history repeats itself,' even those people have no answers for how to deal with the feelings the world is facing now. Because we can make masks and push for more ventilators and excuse the rent and make all of these measurable efforts to combat this crisis. What is difficult is the emotional chaos of the entire world facing something out of control and unfamiliar. We can no longer look to our wisest and most discerning resources. They are also scared, and they have never experienced something like this. While I do think our federal government could be doing a better job than they are, let's face it: they were never going to do a good job in the first place. Do you know what I would have said if you told me even four months ago that we would be living a life like this? I would have said it's impossible.
2. Your feelings are valid but... Social distancing is not that hard. I do not want to discredit anyone who is having a hard time with social distancing, because the truth is that it is difficult in some ways. Even the most die-hard homebody among us will get tired of this eventually, and being isolated from your loved ones on top of the worry we contend with is emotionally taxing. However. I think it is important to note that the actual act of social distancing should not be the thing we are complaining about most. Boredom should be the least of your concerns during a pandemic. I wholeheartedly agree that there are difficult things about social distancing. But instead of listing them and wallowing in the mediocrely-inconvenient, let us point out that those who are social distancing are not having to worry for their safety while going to their jobs every day. I have a friend who works at a grocery store. He says, "All my life I have felt shame and disappointment for having a job that is not respected or well-paid or considered important. Now I am congratulated by people and thanked over social media for being essential? I don't care. I want to go home and feel safe." This is difficult. Nurses and doctors and respiratory therapists and all medical staff working in direct contact with the largest medical threat of the last century... That is difficult. As the non-essential members of the community, our only responsibility is to stay home and not spread this virus. I cannot stress enough that what we are asked to give up is so trivial and so unimportant in light of what our world is facing right now. Thousands have died from this virus and you are upset that you don't get your weekly coffee date with your friend? As difficult and accusatory as it sounds, those of you who are not taking the precautions outlined by the CDC and other legitimate advisors, you are the reason this is not abating.
3. People are now afraid of each other. When I went to the grocery store recently, I found myself swerving every person I encountered, desperately trying to maintain that six foot distance. I noticed others doing the same. Nobody touches anyone, no handshakes or fist bumps or pats on the back. We have no idea who could be infected. It's all we think about when we go in public, and you can tell because half of the people you see are wearing a mask or gloves or both. We all know one person at least who has the virus and have heard their cautionary tale of how awful it is and how you really don't want to get it. The reason I went to the grocery store is because I have offered to run necessary errands for elderly or immunocompromised neighbors who are worried about leaving their house. "We are just so anxious, so scared to go outside," one of them says. When I picked up these groceries, I complied with a few requests. I purchased the groceries. I took a Clorox wipe and disinfected each thing I bought for this couple. I brought the groceries to their house. As I walked up to their door to leave the groceries outside, with gloves on, the scent of Clorox in my nose, and a scarf tied around my mouth and nose, I couldn't help but wonder how long this was going to be my new reality. It felt like a dystopian novel where you don't know who is a zombie so you just have to take every precaution to avoid contamination of any kind.
4. I would love to say that the worst of events has brought out the best in us. I'm not sure if I can say that wholeheartedly. I see news stories of people sewing masks for hospitals at home. I know that our medical field is front-lining a hard fight and not backing down. I know that many people have seen the financial difficulties some are going through and have personally given what they have to help relieve this. However, I have also seen things that make me feel a hint of despair. The friend who says "Virus or not, I don't really care. I'm going to a party tonight." The people who know they have been exposed to the sickness and go in public anyway. The people who refuse to social distance because they feel that it's 'not their problem.' The President (enough said). I don't think that optimism is our friend in a crisis. I think that the best way to approach this is with the realism that there are both good and bad responses to this crisis, and both are actively contributing to the outcome. We can only hope that one day the resistors will wake up and realize what the world has come to.
5. Perhaps the most important thing in all of this is that we must be intentional about what we learn from this. We, as a human population, have not responded well to the pandemic. But maybe this will turn out to be a good thing. I already think sometimes about what I will someday tell my grandchildren. I'll tell them that it may have been difficult to sit in my house for months, but that at the ripe old age of 80, it didn't seem that difficult once it was over. It just seemed like the right thing. I'll tell them about my dilemma over whether or not to risk cutting my own bangs. I'll tell them that somehow it is a thousand times more difficult to do schoolwork when you have nothing else going on. I'll tell them about the professors who handled it well and those who didn't. I'll tell them about Zoom and every single symptom of COVID-19 in the book. About how I learned everything I know about sewing. I'll tell them how my nurse friend worked 10 shifts in a row – more than 120 hours in 10 days. How entire cities would applaud the people they had always neglected; janitors, grocery store clerks, mail delivery workers. I'll tell them how I could finally fill my car with gas at $1.26 a gallon and how I cried watching a video of Andrea Bocelli singing from Italy. How for the first time in 21 years of living, I didn't care about school.
Soon this will be over and it will be a memory. I think we all know that it will likely come back one or more times. Hopefully we will be old pros at that point. In light of being able to control literally nothing except my own actions and how I respond to what happens to me, this is my plan of attack: Simply process each day as it comes. What else can I do? This is temporary, and while most living people now cannot say that their lives have witnessed anything like this, this is life. I recognize that I am neither in the best or worst place to confront a pandemic, but what I do with what happens will speak volumes in the years to come. Everyone says that this is a moment that will go down in history. I think we will all want to say that we handled it with grace and truth and support for our community.
It started with an outbreak, "In Wuhan, China" the news said. I wrote it down for my French news notes and wondered what Wuhan was. Some people in China were sick. Then four people in France had this virus and I wondered if it was close to where my friends live. Then there was a case in New York or California or Washington or something. We all went "Hm."
I stopped watching the news when I went on spring break. Five days later I got an email saying I would be required to move out of my dorm because nobody was going back to school. We were doing all of our classes online and it was suggested that everyone start social distancing. This phrase was introduced into my vocabulary only weeks ago and now it defines my every decision I make in life.
Since then, it is like the only event I see happening is the blooming of the daffodils in my yard. All I hear is the whistling of the wind or the rain. My whole world had become my house. My classroom, dining hall, library, gym, internship workplace, restaurants, cafe, counselor's office, movie theatre, my parent's places of work and my sister's college in Maryland... It's all under one roof. We don't leave except to get groceries or occasionally take the dogs for a walk. I haven't seen a soul apart from my family for weeks. Days pass where I hardly step into the sun.
Here is what I think about this.
1. This is difficult for us because it is unprecedented. All of those people saying 'well history repeats itself,' even those people have no answers for how to deal with the feelings the world is facing now. Because we can make masks and push for more ventilators and excuse the rent and make all of these measurable efforts to combat this crisis. What is difficult is the emotional chaos of the entire world facing something out of control and unfamiliar. We can no longer look to our wisest and most discerning resources. They are also scared, and they have never experienced something like this. While I do think our federal government could be doing a better job than they are, let's face it: they were never going to do a good job in the first place. Do you know what I would have said if you told me even four months ago that we would be living a life like this? I would have said it's impossible.
2. Your feelings are valid but... Social distancing is not that hard. I do not want to discredit anyone who is having a hard time with social distancing, because the truth is that it is difficult in some ways. Even the most die-hard homebody among us will get tired of this eventually, and being isolated from your loved ones on top of the worry we contend with is emotionally taxing. However. I think it is important to note that the actual act of social distancing should not be the thing we are complaining about most. Boredom should be the least of your concerns during a pandemic. I wholeheartedly agree that there are difficult things about social distancing. But instead of listing them and wallowing in the mediocrely-inconvenient, let us point out that those who are social distancing are not having to worry for their safety while going to their jobs every day. I have a friend who works at a grocery store. He says, "All my life I have felt shame and disappointment for having a job that is not respected or well-paid or considered important. Now I am congratulated by people and thanked over social media for being essential? I don't care. I want to go home and feel safe." This is difficult. Nurses and doctors and respiratory therapists and all medical staff working in direct contact with the largest medical threat of the last century... That is difficult. As the non-essential members of the community, our only responsibility is to stay home and not spread this virus. I cannot stress enough that what we are asked to give up is so trivial and so unimportant in light of what our world is facing right now. Thousands have died from this virus and you are upset that you don't get your weekly coffee date with your friend? As difficult and accusatory as it sounds, those of you who are not taking the precautions outlined by the CDC and other legitimate advisors, you are the reason this is not abating.
3. People are now afraid of each other. When I went to the grocery store recently, I found myself swerving every person I encountered, desperately trying to maintain that six foot distance. I noticed others doing the same. Nobody touches anyone, no handshakes or fist bumps or pats on the back. We have no idea who could be infected. It's all we think about when we go in public, and you can tell because half of the people you see are wearing a mask or gloves or both. We all know one person at least who has the virus and have heard their cautionary tale of how awful it is and how you really don't want to get it. The reason I went to the grocery store is because I have offered to run necessary errands for elderly or immunocompromised neighbors who are worried about leaving their house. "We are just so anxious, so scared to go outside," one of them says. When I picked up these groceries, I complied with a few requests. I purchased the groceries. I took a Clorox wipe and disinfected each thing I bought for this couple. I brought the groceries to their house. As I walked up to their door to leave the groceries outside, with gloves on, the scent of Clorox in my nose, and a scarf tied around my mouth and nose, I couldn't help but wonder how long this was going to be my new reality. It felt like a dystopian novel where you don't know who is a zombie so you just have to take every precaution to avoid contamination of any kind.
4. I would love to say that the worst of events has brought out the best in us. I'm not sure if I can say that wholeheartedly. I see news stories of people sewing masks for hospitals at home. I know that our medical field is front-lining a hard fight and not backing down. I know that many people have seen the financial difficulties some are going through and have personally given what they have to help relieve this. However, I have also seen things that make me feel a hint of despair. The friend who says "Virus or not, I don't really care. I'm going to a party tonight." The people who know they have been exposed to the sickness and go in public anyway. The people who refuse to social distance because they feel that it's 'not their problem.' The President (enough said). I don't think that optimism is our friend in a crisis. I think that the best way to approach this is with the realism that there are both good and bad responses to this crisis, and both are actively contributing to the outcome. We can only hope that one day the resistors will wake up and realize what the world has come to.
5. Perhaps the most important thing in all of this is that we must be intentional about what we learn from this. We, as a human population, have not responded well to the pandemic. But maybe this will turn out to be a good thing. I already think sometimes about what I will someday tell my grandchildren. I'll tell them that it may have been difficult to sit in my house for months, but that at the ripe old age of 80, it didn't seem that difficult once it was over. It just seemed like the right thing. I'll tell them about my dilemma over whether or not to risk cutting my own bangs. I'll tell them that somehow it is a thousand times more difficult to do schoolwork when you have nothing else going on. I'll tell them about the professors who handled it well and those who didn't. I'll tell them about Zoom and every single symptom of COVID-19 in the book. About how I learned everything I know about sewing. I'll tell them how my nurse friend worked 10 shifts in a row – more than 120 hours in 10 days. How entire cities would applaud the people they had always neglected; janitors, grocery store clerks, mail delivery workers. I'll tell them how I could finally fill my car with gas at $1.26 a gallon and how I cried watching a video of Andrea Bocelli singing from Italy. How for the first time in 21 years of living, I didn't care about school.
Soon this will be over and it will be a memory. I think we all know that it will likely come back one or more times. Hopefully we will be old pros at that point. In light of being able to control literally nothing except my own actions and how I respond to what happens to me, this is my plan of attack: Simply process each day as it comes. What else can I do? This is temporary, and while most living people now cannot say that their lives have witnessed anything like this, this is life. I recognize that I am neither in the best or worst place to confront a pandemic, but what I do with what happens will speak volumes in the years to come. Everyone says that this is a moment that will go down in history. I think we will all want to say that we handled it with grace and truth and support for our community.
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