In Defense of My Insanity...

     You know, last night I was thinking about it, and I've never really thought about what went through my mind when we moved to Togo. I mean, honestly, nobody does that. Only crazy people. Obviously. And it's also something that lots of people have asked me, though I don't really know the answer. But now that I had a good three hours last night to think about it (compliments of a rainstorm), maybe I'll have a valid answer this time. 
     When we lived here the first time, I had no idea that it wasn't a completely average thing, to move to a developing, French-speaking country. And I was so little that I didn't even give it much thought when people asked me what it was like to live here (I learned to answer that question before I was three). But when I was four, and we made the sudden move back to America, I slowly withdrew into the normal American mindset, that living in Togo wasn't quite normal, just with the thought in the back of my mind that said, "But you have before!" 
     My parents never would have made us move if we didn't want to. Before they made any sort of decision about moving back here in the first place, they asked Michal and I what we thought. Though I don't remember the actual conversation, I remember readily answering with an enthusiastic yes. I have no idea how crazy I must really have been to do that. I loved Memphis, and I still really do. I had a great school, great friends, the perfect house, and I never even considered disliking one thing about my life. The one downside, which was a doozy, was the fact that we got up every day at six in the morning, dad drove us to school because mom was already at work, then we stayed in an after school program until five, when we were all usually too tired to even make dinner, so we went out to eat. I saw my mom about three hours out of the day, and on weekends. I never really thought about how horrid it was until I came back here. In Togo, everything changed. My mom taught Michal's class, I was with her all day long, we ate dinner together, and for the first time in a while, I really realized how an average American life is. It's got no time for anything. Of course, that may be an exaggeration. We had summers... Where we traveled most of the time and spent two weeks at our grandparents. And we had weekends, where we went to church and tried to rest for the upcoming week. 
     Maybe that's why I didn't really flinch at the idea of my two best friends moving away. We knew before we moved back that they were going to leave, and I knew it was going to be hard. But maybe I didn't give it much thought because I was used to not having a lot of close people around me. I didn't realize the full extent of how hard it would be, but for an kid who learned her dad's middle name when she was seven, that didn't seem like a big deal. 
     In all, I feel like I did make the right choice. I've always loved change, and with it, every adventure. Moving back here was as big an adventure as most people can comprehend, and even though I'd lived here before, it was just as big for me as it would be for anybody pulled out of their life and tossed into the third culture like that. I'd read so many books where amazing and out-of-the-ordinary things happen, and I'd always wanted to be a wizard, or a demigod, but it wasn't until after we moved back that I realized, I'm probably living the biggest adventure you can have. And I give credit to my not thinking before I do, and to my simple unhappiness with being normal. 
     Considering my personality now, I know I could never be happy living an average American life. I can't stand sitting by doing nothing to help the world. Here, I'm in a place where I can do so much, even if I'm only fourteen. I figure if I can't be up there in the history books next to Ghandi and Martin Luther King Jr, I can at least sit next to Essowe or Jermaine. 

Comments

  1. Kennell Family in TogoJune 23, 2013 at 3:34 AM

    I agree, that Essowe and Germaine are heroes right up there with Ghandi and Martin Luther King Jr. You may not remember the conversation in which we asked you if you wanted to move back to Togo because it wasn't just one. We talked about it fairly often and prayed about it for months before making a decision. Anyway, I wonder if one of your adventures someday will be to learn what it looks like to help the world by doing something "ordinary" in your own culture!

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